I can’t back it up Biblically, but I believe there is healing in crying; tears bring restoration one drop at a time. So I am learning to let the tears fall when they come.  I was having one of those times in the car a few mornings ago.  Crying out to God, lamenting about the choices I have made with my life…doubting them, wondering if I would do it the same way if given the chance. Tearfully contemplating whether or not this would be easier if I had not been so invested…kept myself busy with other things besides motherhood. I even pondered this morning if life would have been easier, less painful, without kids, without such strong attachments.  It’s a vulnerable place to be, when you love something more than life itself. I know that the above musings seem incomprehensible (even to me), but at times of great suffering, you think crazy things; things you would never think with a sober mind. And I was evaluating whether or not love was worth it, when it can bring so much pain.

 But before I could come to any conclusions, God saved me from my self and pulled me from the pit of despair. I was LITERALLY having the conversation above, with God, when my phone alerted me to let me know that I had a message waiting for me on Facebook.  So I pulled into the garage and this is what was waiting for me. As I read the below quote, I had just been asking God, is love worth it…

 “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin of your selfishness. But, in that casket–safe, dark, motionless, airless–it WILL change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to the risk of tragedy is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love is Hell. I believe the most lawless loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-protected lovelessness. Christ did not teach and suffer that we might become more careful of our own happiness. We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them back to Him; throwing away all defensive armor. If our hearts need to be broken, and if he chooses (love) as the way in which they should break, so be it.” (C.S. Lewis, Four Loves)

 I do NOT believe this was any coincidence! It was nothing short of a miracle…a healing miracle to my soul. I heard God speaking to me thru these words…He was answering my cries with this quote and the faithfulness of a precious friend to send it!

 So, love has a cost…is it worth the cost? God thought love was worth it, no matter the cost. God’s love cost Him the very best that He had, His only Son. That is the message of the greatest love text in the Bible: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Love costs.

 God thought love was worth it, no matter the cost. God’s giving His Son involved more than merely allowing Him to leave Heaven’s glory and enter earth’s history. It meant allowing Him to die in our place and pay the awful debt of our sins. God proved His love conclusively and irrefutably by sending His Son to the cross as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:9-10). Love costs.

 God thought love was worth it, no matter the cost. It was no less of a sacrifice for God the Son than it was for God the Father. His willingness to offer Himself was the pinnacle of costly love. Paul called Him “the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me” (Galatians 2:20).  Jesus Christ made the supreme sacrifice for me when He died in my place. He was falsely accused, beaten, spit on, crowned with thorns, nailed to a cross, and left to die the most excruciating death known to man. Love costs.

God the son, thought love was worth it, no matter the cost. He had the power to walk away from that gruesome death unscathed, yet He voluntarily stayed there and bore that suffering for me. There simply is no greater love (John 15:13). Love costs.

Yes, Love is costly.  Sometimes it will cost you more than you could possibly comprehend. Just ask God. So is it worth the cost? Yes, it is.  Just ask God!