Monthly Archives: June 2013

grace

Grace, what is it?  It’s a word we throw around quite a bit in our Christian verbiage. A quick google search will give you this definition: Grace is God’s unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don’t deserve. There is … Continue reading

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why

Yes, I will see him again…but not here.  Yes, I am grateful he is with his Savior, but I have empty arms here.  I know I will never understand God’s plans, but what about the plans we had, Grant had.  … Continue reading

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fear

Fear. It’s something that I am tempted with since Grant’s death. In the quiet of the night, my mind is sometimes filled with things that could happen to my loved ones as they move through their days. In the dark, … Continue reading

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fun

“Did you have fun, Mom?” Our 16 year old asked, after a visit with family friends. I immediately responded, “Fun? No, not fun….don’t think I would describe it as fun.” But as I laid in bed that night and thought … Continue reading

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time

Time. It’s taken on new meaning. Fresh meaning. I am more aware of it than ever before. It’s so hard to put into words, something you’ve never experienced before. It’s bizarre living with the knowledge of Grant’s passing and missing … Continue reading

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hurt and the healer collide

This song, by Mercy Me, has been such a means of grace and comfort to me, that I just had to share it.  I have lost count of how many times I have listened to it, crying and praying.  If … Continue reading

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up down repeat

Cleaning the bathroom, I find his razor and plummet downward into darkness. Moments later I recall the first time he shaved and a smile breaks into the darkness and brings with it a ray of light. My spirit lifts. A … Continue reading

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moving

I hate going out in public these days. Even just getting in the car to start the errand process, can bring on heaviness, profound sadness. There’s literally a physical reaction and it feels as if someone is standing on my … Continue reading

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sucker

Earlier this month, as I stood taking in the grandeur of the Colorado Rockies, my mind was flooded with thoughts of our recent loss. Lord, I was supposed to go first, before Grant. I was supposed to show him around, … Continue reading

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gaze and stand in the shadow

Sometimes I feel like I am getting worse, not better. It’s scary. Today I am a little more sad, and a little more angry with God. I find myself questioning him again and at times and some days it seems … Continue reading

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