It sat on my lap, cold, hard, lifeless, unaware of the pain it caused. It hadn’t been turned on in months. I rubbed my hands across its smooth top, imagining his hands in the same place.  I could barely breathe. Looking for finger prints, signs of his life here. I can do this.  He would want me to do this.  It held secrets of his life here on Earth…things he hadn’t shared with others.  I knew that.  I opened it and started the task of going through his laptop.  It was one of the most painful things I have ever done in my life.  But there were also moments of joy that revealed themselves and settled in next to the pain.

In an obscure folder, in the Library on Grant’s computer.  I found these; a poem he had written and these pictures along with his penned words.  I have know idea when Grant wrote this, nor why.  And I do not know where these pictures came from, or who took them.  But I know this…this simple illustrated poem could not mean more to this mom than it does as it is evidence of Grant’s understanding of this temporal world we live in…and it shows the love he had for the world in which he now lives eternally. It was like finding buried treasure!

Decay, poverty, brokeness,

The world blindly clings.

But this is not our home,

Long for what eternity brings.