Talked about trying to put the tree up yesterday. But that’s as far as we got…talking about it. We couldn’t bear the thought of opening the trunks and seeing his ornaments, his stocking.

Still haven’t gone Christmas shopping.  Can’t bear the thought of having one less to shop for.  The pain is too great.  We will try again next weekend.

But I did read and meditate on the poem below all day yesterday.  I tried to imagine Grant in Heaven for Christmas this year! This poem was written by a 13 year old boy named Ben. He died of a brain tumour that he had battled with for over four years.
He gave this poem to his mom, before he died.

I first read this poem the year my mom died.  She had been sick for awhile, and I think she knew she was dying.  She probably had suspicions she wouldn’t be with us that year at Christmas.  So she made a copy of this poem, on a piece of bright red paper, and put it in the file drawer with all of her important papers.  She left it sticking half way up, so it was the first thing your eye went to when the file drawer was opened.  And she knew that drawer would be one of the first places we went, after she had passed.

I will never forget that moment, only days after she had died, sitting at her antique oak desk, opening that drawer and discovering what she had wanted me to read, wanted me to know, wanted me to remember amidst my sadness. And I have read this poem every year at Christmas since that fateful day. So, we didn’t get the tree up, we haven’t gone shopping, and the stockings are not yet hung. But I will read this poem…today and everyday from now until Christmas and imagine my son celebrating Christmas this year with his Savior, in Heaven.

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,
With tiny lights like Heaven’s stars reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular – please wipe away the tears,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sound of music can’t compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joys their voices bring,
For it’s beyond description to hear the angels sing!

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart,
But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
So be happy for me dear ones, you know I hold you dear,
And be glad I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift from my heavenly home above,
I sent you each a memory of my undying love. 
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold,
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other as my Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings of love he has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,
Remember I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.