how do i measure

I am feeling weak and sad today.  Grant’s little sister had such a hard day yesterday, tears, far away looks, no appetite.  Another fitful night with haunting dreams for me, waking before the sun and absorbing the reality again, of the new normal.

When I am suffering my temptation is to question God.  Why are we suffering?  Why have you allowed this to happen? Can’t you see our pain?! Why didn’t you heal Grant? Why did you choose this for us! I falsely believe if I just knew why this happened than I would be satisfied. I believe if God answered my endless questions I would find rest.

In reality however, my sober mind knows even if God chose to answer all of my questions, the answers would just lead to more questions.  My need today is not information.  I do not need to know why, I need to know who.  I do not need answers to my questions today, I need more of God.

I will never be able to completely comprehend the ways of God. However, I do not need that comprehension in order to trust Him.  I can trust Him because He is God and I am not.  I can trust Him because He is full of mercy, grace, and steadfast love ordering my life in a way that is perfect for me and brings glory to Him.

In the midst of my pain this morning I will resist the temptation to measure God’s love by my circumstances.  But rather, I will measure His love by standing at the foot of the cross and gazing at Calvary.

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10 Responses to how do i measure

  1. Tracy Sevey says:

    praying for you, colton, brie, glenn carissa each week. still and always. love you my friend.

  2. Tracy Sevey says:

    Can I share this with the pastor and his wife that I told you about, want your permission first.

    • Alisa says:

      ABSOLUTELY! Always feel free to share as the Lord leads you. I am an open book and if you think this could bring comfort to someone, that would bring joy to my weary heart. Hugs

  3. Judi Schleiden says:

    Verse #1
    You call me out upon the waters
    The great unknown, where feet may fail
    And there I find You in the mystery
    In oceans deep, my faith will stand

    Chorus:
    And I will call upon Your name
    And keep my eyes above the waves
    When oceans rise
    My soul will rest in Your embrace
    For I am Yours, and You are mine

    Verse #2
    Your grace abounds in deepest waters
    Your sovereign hand will be my guide
    Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
    You’ve never failed, and You won’t start now

    Chorus:
    So I will call upon Your name
    And keep my eyes above the waves
    When oceans rise
    My soul will rest in Your embrace
    For I am Yours, and You are mine

    Bridge:
    Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
    Let me walk upon the waters
    Wherever You would call me
    Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
    And my faith will be made stronger
    In the presence of my Savior x 3

    Ending:
    I will call upon Your name
    Keep my eyes above the waves
    My soul will rest in Your embrace
    I am Yours, and You are mine
    I am Yours, and You are mine
    I am Yours, and You are mine
    I am Yours, and You are mine

    Read more: Hillsong United – Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Lyrics | MetroLyrics

  4. Jennifer McCraw says:

    Alicia this is Jennifer mccraw know that I love you and am praying for you.

  5. Across the miles…I ask the Lord to be your strength when you have none, joy when you are grieved, breath when you cannot gather the will and for His Holy Spirit to be with your whole family.

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