The infamous one year anniversary is coming up. It looms over us and threatens to rob each day of any joy. It never leaves the mind and causes weariness, and leaves us begging for peace, comfort, a pain free moment.
But grief has taught us a very important lesson. We do not believe that we as humans, can selectively numb our emotions. When we attempt to numb pain, with drugs, denial, or distraction, we numb joy, and gratitude, and love…so we are even more miserable than when we began. We do not believe that we can numb hard painful feelings without sacrificing the good and coveted ones. And we are not willing, cannot not, sacrifice the good ones. It would dishonor the Lord, and sadden Grant.
So we suffer, feel the pain, and wait for the joy to seep in. We suffer and let that pain remind us of a time when there will be no more suffering. We suffer and let the pain in, but force it to make room for gratitude and courage, to love again without fear.