“I have no explanations. I have no answers to my questions. I can do nothing else than endure in the face of my deepest and most painful mysteries.” I strive to stay in a place of trust, faith, hope. I believe in God the Father, maker of Heaven and Earth, and resurrector of Jesus Christ, His son. I also believe my son’s life was cut off in its prime.
I believe God is a loving Heavenly Father and wants what’s best for me. But I also believe Grant’s death was a horrible gruesome tragedy, that no one should have to endure.
I believe God is a God of comfort and wants to wipe away every one of my tears. But I also believe He could have prevented these tears and chose not to.
And so the seemingly, contrary thoughts go. The list seems endless. I cannot fit these opposing pieces together. I am at a loss when I try. I don’t understand how all of these opposing truths exist simultaneously. But this I do know. If my God were big enough to understand, He certainly wouldn’t be big enough to worship. He is infinite, I am finite. I will never understand everything about God, his sovereign plan, or how it all fits together for good. I will never completely understand how apparent, contrary truths can both be true at the same time. But I don’t have to. Faith makes a way to be comfortable with the mystery. Today I rest, knowing that some how these truths can exist at the same time, and they will be woven together to create a life tapestry that glorifies my Lord.