like i believe it

1 Thessalonians 4:13 But we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve like other people who have no hope.

I got dressed today. Put my hair in a pony tail and even put on a little make up. I emptied the dishwasher and did a load of towels. Ran a couple of errands and spoke with strangers. I hated it! I resent life resuming to normal. My new normal. I want to scream out against it. Yell at everyone to just stop, stop I’m not ready. Will I ever be ready? Why must life go on as normal?

But there is a God given purpose in my living. I must not grieve as one with no hope. I have hope. I will see Grant again, face to face, and we will spend eternity together. I must live like I believe it.

Christ made that possible for us, and I am more grateful than words can express. I must live like I believe it.

God’s word is true, His joy is my strength, His promises my hope, His presence my comfort. I must live like I believe it.

 Picking up, moving thru the grief, trying to resume normal life, and not letting death have victory, in the here and now, is living like I believe it. So I will feed the dog, balance the checkbook, and go to the grocery store, knowing that by doing these things I am putting God’s glory on display for the world to see, and living like I believe it.

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6 Responses to like i believe it

  1. Jennifer Goetz says:

    You always bring me to tears.

    I don’t know if you were a ‘writer’ before Grants passing, but you are one now. You have a gift and God is using it for His glory. My friend Cathe Laurie, wife of pastor Greg Laurie, in Riverside, California, lost their son, Christopher, age 33, father of a two year old with a baby on the way, four years ago in a very similar accident.
    We have watched them walk through this terrible process of grieving with hope. If you would ever like to talk to Cathe, I would be happy to arrange it. Just let me know.

    Love you Alisa.

    • Alisa says:

      Sweet Jennifer…You are such a compassionate person. I think I would really like to talk with her at some point. It would be good to visit with someone who has been thru this and is on the other side…as much as one can be on the other side of such a thing. Hugs

  2. Lori says:

    Alisa, My heart hurts for you and your family and the pain and suffering you are going thru with the loss of your son Grant. I wanted to let you know how much your gifted writing has profoundly touched me. I lost my husband to cancer and have been stuck in my grief and sadness, just wanting back the life I used to have. I was tired and ready to give up “fighting for joy” and resign myself to life as it is. Then I came across your blog and have been reading and re-reading everything. I have learned so much – I want to learn more – you are lighting the way for me to know Jesus in my life and happiness and joy again. I am very grateful. Thank you.

    • Alisa says:

      Dearest Lori, I am simply undone. I have no words. This means more to me than I am able to express. To know that you are walking this road with me, praying for me, caring for me, bearing this burden with me…simply undone. And yes, we need each other, those of us that are asked to walk this road of grief. In this sin ridden world, where bad stuff happens, we have to remind each other where to fix our gaze, in order to make any sense of what seems so senseless and painful. And we need to continually remind each other that our feelings cannot be trusted, (especially in this circumstance) but to continually look to the one that can be trusted. And we need to remind each other, that in fact, we are never truly alone thru this. Christ is there, beside us, He never leaves…He is a fellow sufferer and He is helping us to fight for joy. So I am humbled and honored to walk this road with you. If you ever want to talk, cry together, or just tell me about your wonderful gift of a husband, I would love to hear. 480-235-6040 call anytime. Hugs

  3. Giovanna says:

    I’m with Jennifer. You bring me to tears. I remember the day we buried my dad. I remember sitting in the in the limo watching all the cars going by and thinking, “they have no idea what has happened. That must be the only reason they go on with their “daily life”. And the first time I laughed aloud after he passed…and I felt so guilty. I am praying for you and thinking of you daily, if not hourly. And I feel the same as Lori…your words are a beacon for many. Keep going my friend:-)

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