I was lying in bed recently tossing and turning trying to get back to sleep. However, sleep was escaping me. I was fretful and consumed with thoughts of the future. Spreading Grant’s ashes, where will I find the strength? Our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without him, the emptiness. As grandkids start coming, the realization there will never be an Uncle Grant. Colton and Charissa’s weddings without their big brother there. As I played the pending scenarios over and over in my mind I became more and more anxious and fearful. Where will I find the courage to face these and countless other situations waiting for me?
But I need to remember God does not give me the grace to walk through something that has not yet happened. He does not supply the grace for the fears of my imagination. Whatever particular situation my mind conjures up, if God calls me to walk through that trial, then and only then, will He supply the grace for it. I can be certain He will give me the strength I need, when I need it (2 Corinthians 12:9). I can do it for I know He will not let me be tested beyond what I can endure (1 Corinthians 10:13). I know He will give me the strength I need for each day (Deuteronomy 33:25) and I know His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Weariness and hopelessness come when I look to the future with today’s supply of strength and grace. God promises me strength for tomorrow, but not until tomorrow. The reservoir of grace I have for today won’t last for tomorrow. Tomorrow will have its own supply of sustaining grace and strength. As John Piper says, “We tend to despair when we think we have to bear tomorrow’s load on today’s resources. Today’s mercies are for today’s troubles. You do not receive today, the strength to bear tomorrow’s burdens.”
I won’t even think on tomorrow, because I know God will supply me with the strength and grace I need, as I need it, in perfect time and in perfect measure. I only need to think on today and so I can say with quiet assurance, “Yes Lord, I can do this today.”