Hard night. Hard morning. Grief is such a strange thing. You can feel like things are getting a little easier, and then without warning you find yourself consumed with fresh sadness, and weeping again with little relief in sight. I was failing miserably this morning to rely on Christ and His strength. Rather, I woke up consumed with my circumstances, my impending day, my profound sadness, and felt overwhelmed and weary. I knew I needed help to reorient my focus to survive the day, so I turned to the scriptures.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
The only way for me to “not lose heart” thru this loss is by “looking to the things that are unseen.” As long as I am focused on my current circumstances, my current loss, a future with 3 instead of 4, I am going to be weary and overwhelmed. God wants me to focus on Him and my eventual eternity with Him. I need to meditate on the “eternal weight of glory” and remind myself moment by moment that it is “beyond all comparison” to anything here. Where I spend my time “looking” is so critical.
I am reminded of Peter, this morning. He was so focused on Jesus he climbed right out of the boat when Jesus called to him, and started walking on the water towards Jesus! Imagine, he was walking on water! As long as he was looking at Jesus he was fine. But he eventually took his eyes off of Christ and concerned himself with the wind blowing all around him and the raging sea, and when he did this he began to sink.
Why did Peter sink? His circumstances hadn’t changed. He was still on the same water, the wind was the same, the waves were the same, and Christ was still right there in front of him bidding Peter to come. But Peter stopped looking at Christ and focused on his circumstances instead. When he stopped focusing on Jesus, he allowed his situation to change his view of things. Suddenly, because he looked at the wind and waves, things seemed impossible. Because his focus changed and he allowed himself to look at the raging storm all around him, it seemed to be more than he could handle, and he began to sink.
I do not want to be a Peter today. Heavenly Father, help me to not lose heart, help me to keep my focus off of “the wind and storm” swirling about me. As I walk through my day today fix my focus and gaze on you and your eternal glory so that I may grieve as one with hope…
And to add, one of Grant’s good friends, Tim Berry, said this on FB today; “The beautiful thing about that story is that even though Peter loses sight of Jesus, Jesus never loses sight of Peter and pulls him up and out of the water (his circumstances) when he cries out for help.” Love this, Tim ❤