While out running errands this week, I realized I have become a liar. I found myself answering a question that was asked, gave my answer, walked away and thought to myself, “That was a lie. When did I become a liar?” As I thought back over the last several weeks, I realized I was lying almost everyday. I’m not even quite sure when the lying started.
You see, I am not usually dishonest, for any reason. In the past, I wouldn’t even lie when someone wanted me to, “Mom is this going to hurt?”
And I would quickly reply, “Yes, yes it’s going to hurt a lot. I’m not gonna lie.”
“Mom, do you think it’s broken?”
Looking into tearful eyes I respond’ “Yeah, I am fairly certain your arm is broken and they’re going to have to set it. Sorry, I wish I could lie and tell you it will be fine, but I will never lie to you.”
“How does this outfit look?”
“Well it’s not my favorite. You have things that look much better,” I say, as she rolls her eyes and walks away saying, “I knew you were going to say that.”
She knew I was going to say that because I have always promised my kids I would never lie to them, even if telling them the truth would hurt. So when and how did I go from that person to the person I am today, who lies almost daily?
“How are you today?” the Costco attendant asks.
“I’m good, thanks,” I tell her. I lie.
The cashier greets me, “Hello, how’s your day going?”
“I’m good, thanks,” I answer. Again, I lie. And so it goes, daily. The questions are asked, and I lie, over and over and over. I have become a liar.
Or have I? I am sad, profoundly sad. My heart still aches and is heavy most of the time. But my soul…it is well with my soul…”I’m good, thanks.” How is my day? Well, God is the source of human joy, not my circumstances…so, “I’m good, thanks.” And how is my day going…right now, God allows good and bad things to happen. But someday, He will remove ALL bad, not today, but someday. And so I can respond honestly, without lying, “I’m good, thanks.”