“God is not a belief to which you give your assent. God becomes a reality whom you know intimately, meet everyday, one whose strength becomes your strength, whose love, your love. Live this life of the presence of God long enough and when someone asks you, “Do you believe there is a God?” you may find yourself answering, “No, I do not believe there is a God. I know there is a God.” ~Ernest Boyer, Jr.

These are not just words on a page, some pithy quote. They are strong, challenging words, truths.  Truth that I have spoken often.  But in times past, it rolled off of the tongue, there was no cost in speaking these words.  It’s what I believed, and I could read them with a resounding, yes, I know!

It’s different today, on this side of grief. They no longer “roll off the tongue.” It takes courage to say them, believe them. I have to swallow hard, take a deep breath and do a soul check…I can say, today, I still believe, I know.  But it has come at an infinitely higher cost than I could have ever imagined to read these words, speak these words, believe these words, and answer with a resounding, yes, I know there is a God.