but you promised

There are over 6000 of them! That’s a lot of promises.

Matthew 7:7-11 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

I asked, I begged, you said no.  I sought, it seemed I couldn’t find. I knocked, it seemed as though you did not open. I asked for bread, and it feels like you gave me a stone. I asked for a fish, and it seems like I ended up with a serpent. A ravenous, poisonous serpent. So are these words a lie? No, they are not a lie!

The reason they seem hollow and full of empty promises, in the wake of losing my son, is because I look at them thru my temporal lenses. The words, these promises, were never meant to be read or believed from a temporal stand point. They will only prove true, when I read them, believe them, with eternal lenses. I must look at them with eternal perspective. God never promise His followers a carefree, pain-free life here on Earth.  He doesn’t promise a happy life void of sorrow. Truth be told, He is much more concerned with our holiness than our happiness, and that is most often accomplished thru trial and pain.

When life doesn’t make sense and everything in the world seems broken, I must hold onto the promises of God. What do I do when hope lets Me down, when hopes are dashed, when life doesn’t turn out the way I thought it would? In those times I must hold onto the promises of God regardless of how I feel.

Sure, I could curse God, accuse Him of being a fake and a phony.  Or I could blame myself and give God a way out. But what I know of God, revealed in His promises, prevents me from believing either of those. So what I am left with is mystery. All that I know of God and all that I don’t know of God must live together in my heart and soul. I must be comfortable with the mystery. I must come to terms with the fact that sometimes it feels like I was given a snake when I asked for a fish, but that doesn’t make it truth.  My feelings cannot be trusted, especially right now!

God promises He loves me, loves Grant.  I look to Jesus hanging on the cross and know it’s true. My hope is firm because of this promise.

I must rebuild hope…I can’t live without it.  I will wither and die. and I can still hope because of the promises of God.  I hope because I know these promises to be true, even if the haven’t yet been fulfilled. I hope, because I know this isn’t the end of the story.

Hope doesn’t come from thinking about happy moments on earth, but about Holy moments in Heaven when all of God’s promises find their end!

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