Earlier this month, as I stood taking in the grandeur of the Colorado Rockies, my mind was flooded with thoughts of our recent loss. Lord, I was supposed to go first, before Grant. I was supposed to show him around, when he got to Heaven. I was supposed to be waiting for him, not the other way around! He was supposed to have to learn to live without me, without his father, to “carry on” as they say…not vice-versa.
It made me think of this little mantra that I have said to my kiddos for years, whenever I would leave the house without them. They have probably heard it hundreds of times. As I readied myself to go somewhere without them, I would say while making the rounds with good bye kisses, “God willing, I will be home in an hour…if He’s not willing, see you on the other side suckers!” Giggling, I would walk out the door as all eyes rolled, heads shook, and lips pursed in that “oh brother, mother” half smile.
As I stood there in the Rockies, with all of these things swirling around in my head, it was almost as if Grant broke into my thoughts. I could almost hear him say it. I could even picture his funny triumphant smile, and a victory glint in his eye, as he said, “Who’s the sucker now, mom?!” It made me roll my eyes and shake my head. It made me laugh.
Lord, thank you for the countless times Grant made me laugh. Even now, the thought of him, always ready with his one liners, makes me laugh. “I am the sucker, son…and it made me laugh today. I love you, Grant. More than words can express.” Lord, thank you for the laughs here…and the laughs to come everlasting. Grant’s best one liners are yet to come and I cannot wait! The thought of it gives me a smile today and makes me giggle.