Author Archives: Alisa

My life is divided into before and after now.  I now know, I can continue to live. But life will never be the same, never.  It will now forever be divided into before and after. Our family will have to … Continue reading →

“I have no explanations. I have no answers to my questions. I can do nothing else than endure in the face of my deepest and most painful mysteries.” I strive to stay in a place of trust, faith, hope. I … Continue reading →

Grueling tasks today; cancel school loans (for an education that will never be used), cancel air flights (for trips that will never be taken), cancel credit cards (whose products purchased will be enjoyed no more) Gruesome tasks; death certificates needed … Continue reading →

I was laying in bed, after another long day, when he walked in buttoning up a shirt; a shirt I recognized. “It’s the only one that fit, mom,” he said to me as he finished buttoning. Colton had finally found … Continue reading →

2nd Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, … Continue reading →

I had a precious young gal bare her heart with me at Grant’s memorial service. She is due to have her first baby in a few weeks, and she was telling me, with tears streaming down her face, how scared … Continue reading →

Dull, sad, heavy, listless; is this depression? Will this be my constant companion for months to come? If so, I should fear it. But strangely, it brings comfort. In my grief, in the darkness, when I am consumed with sadness … Continue reading →

I live in layers now. There’s the top layer.  The layer that musters the words to say, “I’m doing fine, thanks,” in answer to the clerk’s question, “How are you doing today?” This same layer is where I can smile … Continue reading →

The phone rings, and life as we know it, changes forever. God, no! Oh, God no! This can’t be happening. Why this, why? Why did you do this? Why did you take my son in the prime of his life? … Continue reading →

A blog.  Why a blog about grieving?  We just lost our precious son less than 3 weeks ago.  Should I be doing this? What purpose will it serve?  Will it even serve a purpose? In our narcissistic society, is it … Continue reading →